Cheney Recieves Surprise Visit From His Conscience

Washington- Vice President Richard Cheney was paid an unexpected, unscheduled visit by his conscience late Saturday night. According to sources close to Mr. Cheney, the Vice President was about to retire for the evening when his conscience, which had recieved a temporary security clearance to enter the Vice Presidential home on 34th St. and Massachusetts Ave. in Washington, made its surprise appearance. "None of us were in the loop, that's for sure," said Dana Perino, White House Press Secretary, at her Monday press briefing. Perino went on to describe the visit as "amicable." She said, "We believe that this is a very positive first step in the process of bringing the Vice President and his conscience toward and agreement that would benefit both parties."  Perino said that during the visit, which lasted less than an hour, Mr. Cheney's conscience reminded him that the deaths of over 4,000 U.S. soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians occured in no small part because he deliberately gave misleading information to the American public. His conscience also told him that he had cheerfully supported torture, helped to out a covert CIA agent, aided corrupt war profiteers, stood in the way of energy policy reform, and shot a man in the face. According to Perino, "The Vice President had a very cordial, productive meeting." Mr. Cheney is reported to have slept like a baby after his conscience left. No further meetings are scheduled at this time.