Girl Who Snubbed You Picks Obama
Indianapolis---Suzy Lee Finley, the stuck-up cheerleader who laughed at you five years ago when you asked her to prom, announced today that she is endorsing Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential campaign. In a prepared statement, Finley said, “You didn’t really think I was going to endorse you, did you? Oh, that’s so sweet. I mean, I’m sure you’re really nice. I’m sure lots of people would like to endorse you. It’s just that I really couldn’t endorse someone who hasn’t learned everything about personal hygiene, you know? I think America deserves a president who smells really good all of the time and doesn’t have zits.” Finley ended her statement abruptly when she saw a group of her friends coming down the hall.
A spokesperson for the Clinton campaign quickly dismissed the endorsement, stating that it was “typical” that Finley would endorse Obama, and adding that Finley had “probably already endorsed half of the football team.”
Critics of Obama have already suggested that Finley’s endorsement will only serve to reinforce his reputation as snob and an elitist but several admitted on background that they wouldn’t mind being endorsed by Finley themselves.