House Votes To Give Bush "Time Out"

In a measure that is being hailed by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as a "really tough bill", the House of Representatives today passed a resolution authorizing Congress to give President Bush a "time out'.  The bill cleared the House by a 293-129 margin and goes to the Senate next week, where it is also expected to pass. "I think that today the people of the United States sent  a clear message to this President that what he did is totally not o.k.," said Pelosi from the floor of the House. The highlight of the Bill, which was hammered out over the past two months by the powerful House Behavior Modification Committee, is a mandate requiring the President to "sit quietly for two minutes facing the wall thinking about what he did these past seven years."  The Bill also will force the President to "Look at Congress in the eye" and say that he is "sorry." Although the bill recieved wide bi-partisan support, some Republicans were outspoken in their opposition to the bill. Michelle Bachmann (R) Minnesota, said, "I think that we risk doing real emotional damage to the President with this type of shaming, punitive measure. After all, the President was just being a president, that's all. He didn't really do anything that bad. So he launched a war on a country based on flimsy intelligence and was deliberately misleading to the press, congress and the nation when doing so. He was only 53 years old! He didn't know any better." Bachman's ammendment to the bill, calling for the President to recieve some warm cocoa and a nice hug did not make it out of committee. Pelosi, who soon after taking over as Speaker of the House had taken impeachment "off the table", said that most Democrats are hailing this as an acceptable compromise. "I think the important thing is that the President knows he was wrong, and promises he will do better next time."  Reached for comment, a White House spokesperson said that "They can't make the President take a time out. They can't, they can't, they can't!"  It is expected that President Bush will involk executive privilege in order to avoid the time out at least until after the end of his term.