Obama linked to Velvet Underground?

By now most people are aware of Barack Obama's links to William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, members of the notorius 1960's radical group the Weather Underground. Our sources close to the Obama campaign are now reporting that Barack Obama also has had ties to the Velvet Underground, the influential 1960's rock band spawned by the pop artist Andy Warhol. One of the band's more popular songs, "Heroine", raises the spector of ilicit drug use and immediately causes one to question whether Obama, with his reportedly close ties to founding members Lou Reed and John Cale, shares a similar attitude toward the the use of hardcore drugs and raises questions about Obama's commitment to continuing America's War on Drugs. Another popular Velvet Underground song "Walk on the Wild Side" may cause voters to wonder whether Obama is embracing an unwholesome lifestyle and whether he shares their mainstream values. And, of course, voters will always  wonder whether Nico was selected to join the band for her singing abliity or because of her looks.